the whole “writing my birth story” thing is not going as i planned. every time i sit down and try to write it, something distracts me.

so this is hereby a notice saying that my birth story is “coming soon.”

but anyway, i’ll tell you other things for you noble followers that have been waiting patiently for a post!


sawyer is SUCH a good baby. he really only cries if he’s hungry or if he’s got a dirty diaper. he gives amazing kisses (although sometimes gives a little too much tongue) and he is an excellent cuddler! he can already pick his head up when he’s on his tummy for tummy time and he can keep it up too! he’s so strong! ❤ my little boy even sleeps through the night sometimes, but i can’t let him do that right now because i have to make sure that he’s eating enough.

we’ve seen the doctor multiple times a week for the last two weeks of his life which is SUPER annoying, but i guess it’s for a good reason. baby boy hasn’t been gaining a lot of weight. he should be back up to his birth weight by now but he’s not. he’s only 9 pounds, as of yesterday’s doctor’s appointment. now we have another one next wednesday and if he’s not back up to 9 pounds 9 ounces or more by then, i guess something isn’t going right with my breastfeeding and i’ll probably have to stop…

this is extremely depressing because, as you may or may not know, i had a plan to breastfeed for at least 2 years and now it hasn’t even been three weeks and i might already have to stop… i don’t understand; i went through my entire pregnancy hearing from everyone “breast is best” and all that jazz, but yet i’m somehow not doing good enough for my baby to gain weight… :/ he even has good poops and pees and everything, but yet i’m not doing enough for him…? i don’t understand.

besides this, i’ve been extremely happy lately. which is good because who likes to be sad?! i don’t have time to be sad when i’m taking care of my precious bundle of smiles that is sawyer :)! i never knew i could love somebody this much! he is the most perfect thing that i’ve ever seen and i’m so happy that i got picked to be his mommy ❤


6 thoughts on “soo…

  1. I am so sorry to hear breast feeding isn’t going as well as hoped…I’m hoping that can change for you, but if not- you definitely are doing the very best you can for your little boy. I LOVE that you are happy despite some disappointment…that’s exactly the kind of Mamma Sawyer needs 🙂 You are doing GREAT! Love these updates!

  2. You might want to get a second opinion on the stopping breastfeeding thing. I can’t imagine that even if they have you start on formula that no-breastfeeding at all would be a “good” thing. If you want to breastfeed, then continue to do it even if you have to supplement with formula for the calories. Once he gets caught up with his weight breastfeeding may start to work more efficiently for you. Don’t give up on it if you don’t want to! That’s frustrating and concerning that your doc would recommend stopping all together. You may also want to talk to a lactation consultant, they may be able to give you some other options….best wishes.

    • i’m not sure if they’d actually tell me to stop breastfeeding and i really wouldn’t even if they told me to! i just don’t want to supplement, i hate the idea that i don’t have what’s good enough (on my own) for my son. that’s all.

      • I get that, breastfeeding is a wonderful thing. Look into some of your other support for breastfeeding problems. (le leche league, lactation consultant, etc) It may be something that you can work on, an easy fix, or you may have make a compromise, but even if you can give him a few ounces a day, that’ll still be a great thing for him. Lots of luck to you!

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